Books: my friends and support system
Anyone who’s close to me knows that I’m a fan of books and reading, in general. But I wasn’t always a reader. In fact, until 2017, I didn’t get why people read books at all. Consuming the various cosmopolitan dishes served by my laptop seemed way more fun.
Even when it dawned upon me that I might benefit from reading one, the thought of going through 300 pages felt intimidating. “Can I ever complete an entire book?” was a recurring thought.
YouTube university advised me to start by aiming for 1 hour (or 20 pages) a day. The first book that left me in awe was “The leader who had no title” by Robin Sharma. It might sound like a cliché that self-help sparked my curiosity in reading, but I can’t deny that I got super excited by the idea of getting access to the wisdom shared by some of the most successful people across the world (whatever my limited understanding of “being successful” meant then). A big reason I had this spark was I couldn’t think of anyone I knew at the time whom I could look up to. Thus, my reading journey, primarily focused on self-help, got kickstarted.
My pace was quite slow. I felt irritated by myself on days I didn’t read. I wanted to build a habit of reading. No points for guessing that I read a book to try doing so, along with an amalgam of various habit-tracking apps and other habit-building techniques. They worked for a few days until they didn’t any more. Still, over time, albeit inconsistently, my reading clocked an upward trajectory.
At some point, I realised I’m done with self-help. It was the same thing being regurgitated in a new cover. I knew the theory now. I’m grateful I hit a slump there because that paved the way for me to enter the magnificent world of non-fiction (self-help being its subset).
It’s been 6 years into my book reading journey. One I know is going to continue till the day I die. Now, I read across diverse genres, including spirituality, communication, neuroscience, psychology, philosophy, history, gender, climate change, education, politics, personal finance, biographies; the list is endless. Each of them have so much to offer and there is a plethora of knowledge out there for me to seek.
I’ve pondered why I love reading. Fundamentally, I am a sucker for stories, crave intimacy and vulnerability through conversations and am obsessed for expanding my knowledge. Personal growth is one of the top 3 priorities in my life. As I hold a book and my eyes make contact with the words, I’m transported into the mind of a different person, maybe in the opposite side of the world, someone who is possibly not even alive anymore. Someone who has explored a topic I’m interested in at a depth I can only imagine. It’s like being guided through an adventure park where I landed simply because of my spark of curiosity, only to be shown the magnificence that lies on the other side.
Given the sheer number of interests I have, I’m unlikely to find people around me with expertise in what interests me in a given moment. Books become my refuge. Any topic one can think of would have at least a few foundational books that cover the 80/20 for a beginner with a newfound interest. Upon reading them, I can decide whether I want to go deeper or is that level of depth enough to satisfy my curiosity at the moment.
Sometimes, reading helped validate my thoughts. When I struggle to find people who share all my interests, it makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Take the book “Talent Code” as an example. It studies some of the highest achievers across fields (and their coaches) to present a framework for how anyone can aim to be the best at what they do and what it takes to nurture talent. It can be isolating to have a deep passion for wanting to be my best version. People are likely to consider you boring or tell you that you give a lot of gyaan (knowledge) all the time, when all you might be trying to do is have a conversation about something you care about. Reading helped me find companions who are interested (much more than me) to walk on the same path as me.
Books are also my way of travelling the world and meeting new people, many of them who are not alive anymore. I have books lying all around my room, on my table and even on my bed. It makes me feel that I’m in the company of those people, one I thoroughly enjoy. At the end of a workday or on a holiday, I look forward to spending my day with these friends and making more of them with time. They have showered me with their wit, humour, intellect, stories, vulnerability and wisdom. A large part of who I am today is because of the books I’ve read. A lot of times we don’t have anyone to look up to or ask for advice for what to do in a given situation. Now, I’m rest assured that I am not alone.
A few learnings that I’ve had which might be helpful for people early in their reading journey or those who want to start but are struggling to:
A good book will typically complete itself. You won’t have to motivate yourself to read it. You won’t be able to wait to get back. If you find yourself having to motivate yourself, you’re probably reading the wrong book. Reading books should be fun, not a chore. There are many genres out there. There is likely one for you too.
At the same time, sometimes you do need to push yourself to complete a book because you know reading it is important in some tangible way in your life. But most of the times, it is okay to leave it unfinished. It feels very wrong and often invokes a lot of guilt every time I do it (still). But I am able to get past it now once I realised there is a huge opportunity cost if I don’t abandon them, i.e. not reading all the other books that I would genuinely enjoy.
You’re not going to remember most of what you read. That is okay. If a book leaves a deep impact on me, I try to reread it after a few months if I think it can be helpful to revisit it then. Based on my life stage, the same book tends to have a very different effect. Even a book I did not connect with a year back might very relatable today and vice versa.
For books where I wanted to remember what I read, I’ve found it helpful to make notes for the key takeaways. Sharing what I’m reading and discussing it with others also helped.
What finally helped make reading books a habit for me is infusing the fact that “I’m a book reader” as part of my identity. Once I did that, it didn’t matter if I didn’t read for a few days or even a week. I can get right back to it the next day because “I’m a reader”. A streak does not matter!
Even for books I’m excited to read, there is often inertia in starting/resuming because I know it will require some mental workout (primarily because of the kind of books I read) but once I start, it flows naturally and I hardly want to stop, except for the occasional break.
Books are often the best gift I can think of giving anyone and some of the best ones I’ve read have been gifted to me too. I’m super grateful for that. You know who you are!